D-block cell, Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary, San Francisco / © I.A. DaglisDo you know what makes the prison disappear? Every deep, genuine affection. Being friends, being brothers, loving, that is what opens the prison, with supreme power, by some magic force. Without these one stays dead.
Vincent Van Gogh [Letter 133 to Theo, Cuesmes (Belgium), July 1880]
“I wish I were far away from everything, I am the cause of all, and bring only sorrow to everybody. These words struck me because that same feeling, just the same, not more nor less, is also on my conscience.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of the past, - when I think of the future of almost invincible difficulties, of much and difficult work, which I do not like, which I, or rather my evil self, would like to shirk; when I think the eyes of so many are fixed on me, - who will know where the fault is, if I do not succeed, who will not make me trivial reproaches, they will say, as it were by the expression of their faces: we have helped you and have been a light unto you, - we have done for you what we could, have you tried honestly? when I think of all this, and of so many other things like it, too numerous to name them all, of all the difficulties and cares that do not grow less when we advance in life, of sorrow, of disappointment, of the fear of failure, of disgrace, - then I also have the longing - I wish I were far away from everything!
Vincent to Theo, Amsterdam, 30 May 1877